Tips on writing bad letters

It is very possible that your enemies will be hovering over your keyboard, and their names are:

Small lies
Never lie in your latter. NEVER. Its OK for one time. You lie to be more interesting. Great ! You write the second latter. Now you have to be consistent with all the lies you wrote in your first epistle. Tricky.

Boasting & pompous speech
- “I have traveled all over this earth and have met some very interesting people but not that special someone I seek to share my life with”. ALL OVER this earth? Really?

- Following is a good example of pompous speech:
“Let us drink the cup of love that the universe has to offer. Wow… The miles may be great, the virtuality of the service limited, but all of this is of no consequence. I am sending you my love across the miles”. Do you think this person has ever met his mistress face to face? No! Is he already talking about love? Yes!

- “First let me tell you a little about me. I'm the Founder and Chief Operating Office of a company named …. There are over 1000 partners in my Company and I believe if asked, friend and enemy alike would tell you that I am a man of my word. And albeit as a pirate, they would also tell you I am a gentleman by every standard of measure. I am the patriarch of my family, and I’m the one at my company that everybody comes to when they have a problem. I'm good at fixing things. Of course for a man in my position there are many beautiful women available”. No comment.

Depersonalization
- Using letter templates is not such a bad thing (especially templates for the first - so called - introduction letters), but later it may result in depersonalization and confusion. For example, at the beginning of a letter a person writes “Dear Pam” and at the end - “Good bye, my sweet Maria”. You can be sure that such confusion is a real turn off for a lady!

Excessive perseverance and hassle
- Excessive perseverance and hassle are dangerous too!
Read the following quotation: “Tata, please, if you are writing to other guys, never promise them anything until we meet in person. I don’t want to loose you; don’t break my heart. You and me we will make a perfect couple. You belong to me. (Don’t forget, the Author of this letter had just met the lady a very short time ago. A bit early for such serious statements, isn’t it?) I already know you in my heart, you my tape of a lady and you need a man like me. I would like to visit you soon. Reply to me soon”.

Spelling mistakes
Spelling mistakes are annoying and irritating. They might be the evidence of your carelessness and lack of education, which can distract from you and your message.

Remember, accuracy is an absolute must when writing any letter, not to speak of love correspondence.

It does not matter if the language with which you communicate with your sweetheart is NOT native for either of you (example: a French lady and an Italian gentleman use English as a common language), spelling mistakes can be easily avoided by spelling check available in every text processor.

“Hello sweet Ninel, thanx for your lovly letter. I like very mutch to read every word you write”. Oops…..

Egocentrism
Read the following message. Does the Author really think he has a chance to attract a lady’s attention??

“Hi (impersonal salutation; who is this letter addressed to?)

Thank you for your letter. So about me, well as you know my name is Steve and I live in London and I spend part of my time in Europe. I run my own company called …. I spend some time traveling in places like Africa and Asia.

Regarding sport, I have always loved being a sportsman and when younger

I ran for the USA, I skied, played rugby, pretty much any sport in fact. I achieved a world record for running from Cape Town to Cairo. You can find the entry if you are interested on the Guinness Book of records web site….

PS the photo is of me was taken in Africa, I do try to help with life over there, will tell you about that another time”. (Will be there another time?..)

Needless honesty
Needless honesty is a rare but very harmful to the quality of young relations. The Author of the following passage seems to forget that he is talking to his potential bride and not asking advice from a friend of his or a psychotherapist:

“I will tell you I have had a new lady write to me. She wrote to me back in October and I did not answer her. However, when I wrote to you a few weeks ago I wrote to her as well she just answered me yesterday. I guess I will write to her as well. I hope I am doing right.
Should I tell you about these ladies would it hurt you? (Of course it would!) Would I be betraying their confidence? (Of course you would!)
I will take a chance and tell you that there are four ladies I’m correspond with at this moment…..